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Coach Cameron Soccer Podcast

Daily Episodes covering soccer in America from youth to professional.

Apr 25, 2020

I was down on my luck and this album saved my life! Long story short, I had just recently been fired from the local circus in Muskogee. It was known as Nifty Fifty and The Two-Ring Circus back in the day until a tornado ripped through town and took two clowns, a bearded lady, and three chihuahuas named Willie, Nilly, and Todd. Since then it was just called “The Old Circus in Town” which didn’t quite have the same ring to it, if you know what I mean.

Now I digress. Like I said I was plumb outta luck and was itchin for a ‘hitchin and took a ride down to the next nearest town which of course y’all know is Tullahassee. Now I don’t wanna open old scars but I knew going back to Tullahassee ain’t without it’s risks. My ol woman who is now my ex squatted there. And wouldn’t you believe it but as soon as I stopped at the local Love’s gas station to grab a pack of Coors and Marlboro lights, there she was. Big ol Andy Mandy. I tried to sneak past her down an aisle and into the restroom but I slipped on a misplaced slim Jim and created a ruckus from high hell. Caught the attention of the whole dang county! Of course Andy Mandy took it to herself to give me an earful of how I left her with a trailer full of three blood hounds, a tractor out front and unpaid medical bills from my time I got injured flippin my ATV in the Wal-Mart parking lot.
After getting up and gatherin my wits about and drowning out all that hollerin from my ol ball an chains I saw a glimmer at the corner of my eye.

I brushed past the ol hog that used to be my wife and followed that shimmerin light. It called to me. Like a message from the lord it pulled me! And lo and behold right at the front of the checkout desk of various cd’s from gangster rappers and Mexican music was a cellophane wrapped cd called I Saw A Tiger. I felt it's power take control of my leathery tanned hand and take hold of it. Like I was possessed! I grabbed the copy, asked for my Marlboro Lights and purchased the dang thing right then and there! Of course by then my ol woman had given up trying to get me to listen and was threatenin to call the cops.

I decided to high tail it outta there and hitch a ride to the next town, which of course was called Okay and was right across the River. I had a cousin named Skeeter that lived there who was never quite right from his time in the national guard but I knew he could widdle a fine dog or rabbit if you asked him to. “Ain’t got much left up in the ol noggin but I sure as hell can widdle you any animal with my eyes closed if I had a mind to” he would always say. But of course he only knew how to widdle just a dog or rabbit. Anywho, along the way I asked the tweeker who was giving me a ride to pop the cd in. He sure was a squirrelly fella but he obliged and turned the tunes up. Lord all mighty nothing so angelic touched my ears! Exotic Joe’s voice was from another world! I knew from that moment on life was gonna be just fine. Just fine indeed. Thank you Joe Exotic. You saved me!